Wedding Inspiration
Comments 4

When Your Best Friend Isn’t Happy About Engagement

You’re engaged to a great guy, your family loves him and you love his family.. But sometimes we have that one friend who is unpredictable with her reactions. Few brides can recount tales about how they dreaded breaking the news to their bestie that they were proposed too. Few brides also can recount how their besties weren’t happy for their new ‘wedding’ bliss upon telling them the news. Well bride to be let me tell you that you are not alone, as I’m experiencing this at the moment. Friendships are important, and they are an integral part of life. Humans are social creatures after-all and we all enjoy having someone to conversate with. When my then boyfriend, now current Fiancé proposed I was stunned and so happy! I broke the news to my family slowly and flashed some engagement ring pics to my female cousins to share the news. But at the back of my mind the person I dreaded telling the most was my best friend.

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She’s a sensitive soul, and well I won’t right about her character, but I absolutely adore her. However I always have a hard time telling her about my happiness and when I do share something happy (on occasion) she gives me the silent treatment, so it’s often best to avoid subjects pertaining to love. Well this time I decided to call her after sharing my news to just talk about how things are going and at the end she basically brushed me off said ‘congrats’ without enquiring about any details (like she used to when we would have boy talks growing up as young & dumb teens). She didn’t even want to know how he proposed, which everyone in my family said was the most romantic and elaborate way they’ve ever heard (because my fam isn’t so romantic tbh). My Fiancé is incredible..I’m not trying to brag, and  I apologize for sounding show offy.

Anyways at the end of the conversation she told me she was too busy, and insinuated that I was a distraction in her life.  Although she often would get upset if we didn’t spend as much time as we used to when we were young, and recently we’ve been on amazing terms. Think late night messaging, and many coffee dates. So what set off this cold shoulder? I’m not sure, I just know that she seemed unhappy, and I could make up a million reasons to justify her actions/ unhappy tone..in my own mind..but that’s unfair to her and I won’t share my suspicions because I could be wrong!

I will just say that it would be a shame to lose your best friend, because you are now with the one you want to spend the rest of your life with, who can also fulfill a lot of that ‘best friend’ role. My advice for all of you who are in my position is that you should give your friend some space, (if she’s someone you don’t want to lose), and try to contact them again to feel them out. I wish all of you good luck, feel better and don’t start any unnecessary arguments because right now it’s your time to enjoy something different, new and exciting,and you shouldn’t have to feel bad for being in a new life situation that makes you happy.

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-Xo Zaychishka

 

4 Comments

  1. I think the thing that strikes me here is how someone can be a “best friend” when acting like this. Your wedding is one of the most special and unforgettable moments in your life and a true best friend would share and celebrate that happiness unconditionally with you. Are you holding onto her out of loyalty? Now as your life is about to move into a brand new direction perhaps it’s time to look at some friendships and question whether they fit within your new life. Just because someone was a “best friend” once, does it mean they always remain a “best friend”?

    Liked by 1 person

    • It’s true that ‘Best Friends’ can drift a part, and there is always the possibility they will become a distant memory in your life and no longer be a ‘best friend’ or even a freind at all. It’s sad to give up on 13 years of friendship. I wouldn’t say it’s out of loyalty but because I genuinely enjoy reminiscing with her, or having the usual woman bonding experiences. I think it isn’t fair for someone to give you the cold shoulder and (now) terminate years of friendship because I have someone who loves me, and wants to share his life with me, and my life with his. But, I’m also still the same person, and being engaged doesn’t change who I am, and shouldn’t even affect the friendship we had. Women are complex creatures, and it frustrates me, but I also know I’m not the only one who has had this happen. And I will also wish to any women out there who do read this post, that if they are having a similar situation that they shouldn’t have to feel bad, enjoy this time, and if their ‘freind’ wishes to come back into their life..you can always leave that door open. Don’t hate them either, and try your best to not feel anger towards them…which Is hard advice to take, and give. So I agree with everything you wrote, I’m just going to enjoy this time right now.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Juliya says

    Don’t give up. It is clear that your friend is putting on a brave front because she thinks that you won’t need her anymore being busy with your new life. Especially if she is single. Imagine how she might feel and share your thoughts on how your friendship is important to you. Some reassurance in your commitment to her should help. Best of luck and congratulations on your engagement.

    Liked by 1 person

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